Some Wounds Never Heal
by protejerinnocencia
Summary: First fanfiction ever written in 2003 At age 11, Lexi went off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry excited and afraid. To her horror, the man responsible for the brutal death of her father was going to be her potions teacher. This is the tale of
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1-The Battle Fought and Lost**

Lexi's mother, Karen, skimmed through the mail that the family post owl, Barny, had brought.

"Alexandra, you've got mail," Karen called from the kitchen.

"From who?" came the voice of 16-year-old Lexi from down the hall in her room.

"Looks like the book and supply list for school," responded her mother. Lexi appeared in the doorway wearing tattered jeans and an old Hanson t-shirt.

"Mum, please don't make me go back," Lexi whined. "I don't think I could stand to see that...that...that filthy, rotten killer for another whole year." Karen put down the rest of the mail, closed her eyes and sighed.

"Alexandra, I don't want to hear it. What he did was horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it was 14 yrs ago. Let it go." Karen said patiently to her daughter.

"Mum, you don't get it," Lexi said. "He hasn't changed. You don't know anything about him."

"Oh and I suppose you do then, seeing how many detentions you've had with him," Karen said in a tone barely above a whisper.

"Why are you defending him!" Lexi screamed at her mother. "He murdered your husband!"

"Alexandra, don't bring your father into this. We aren't talking about him. We are talking about..." Karen began.

"Stop it! Stop acting like he isn't important. Stop acting like he never existed. You don't love him!" Lexi interrupted, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Alexandra McKenzy Walker, you do not interrupt me when I am talking," Karen said trying to keep her voice steady.

"You didn't even have the decency to keep his last name. When you married Michael you took his last name, Lascher," Lexi spat back.

"That's it! This conversation is over. You are going back and that's it." Karen said.

As always, Lexi started the battle and always, always lost it. Life just wasn't fair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2-The Day of Dread**

Later that week, Lexi and her mother went to Diagon Alley to buy her school supplies. Lexi was very resistant but her mother dragged her from store to store. The following Sunday, Lexi was packing her trunk for the morning's travel to Kings Cross Station, when a white snowy owl tapped on her window.

"Oh, Hedwig you scared me," Lexi murmured opening her window as the graceful bird fluttered in and landed on her desk.

Lexi took the envelope that was tied around Hedwig's leg and saw the handwriting of her boyfriend, Harry Potter. They hadn't been dating that long, only a few months. However, she hardly heard from him, due to the strict rules of his uncle and aunt. '_Mean Muggles_' Lexi thought as she opened the envelope.

The letter enclosed was very short; it read:  
_Dear Lexi, I miss you so much. I wish we could have had better contact over the summer but I will see you on the train tomorrow. Don't respond. Hedwig knows to come back once you've read this. Signed, Harry._

Lexi looked up from the letter and saw Hedwig staring at her intently.

"Go ahead. You can go home now. Fly safely" Lexi said to the owl, which upon hearing Lexi's voice took off into the dark moonless night.

The next morning, Lexi got up and put on a pair of jean shorts and a black tube top but grabbed a shirt to put over it so her mother wouldn't see. After a rushed breakfast Lexi, her mother, and stepfather scurried off to Kings Cross Station. Once Lexi was on the train, she waved to her parents and then headed off to find Harry. On her way down the corridor, Lexi ran into her cousin, Amelia Davidson. Amelia was also a sixth year and was in Gryffindor as well.

"Hey Amelia. What's wrong?" Lexi asked when she saw her cousin's eyes were red and puffy.

"Lexi I miss Fred. I wish he was still going to be at school this year." Amelia said as she wiped at her eyes.

"Oh Amelia, I'm sure you will hear from him," Lexi said reassuringly. "Have you seen Harry yet?" She asked her cousin.

"Yeah, he's with Ron and Hermione two cars down," Amelia said, a little confused.

Lexi hadn't told her cousin that she was dating the wizard everyone always talked about. Lexi thanked her cousin and ran down the corridor and found Harry and Ron playing wizard's chess while Hermione watched.

"Hi you guys," Lexi said as she sat down next to Harry.

As Harry's queen demolished one of Ron's castles, Harry turned around and smiled.

"Hey Lexi," Harry called.

"Do they know?" Lexi whispered in Harry's ear.

"No," Harry whispered back.

"What are you two whispering about?" Hermione asked.

"We, Harry and I, are dating" Lexi said proudly.

"Really, bloody hell," commented Ron. So, the four of them spent the rest of the train ride talking about their summers and about the upcoming school year.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3-The Nightmare Relived**

As the train pulled into Hogsmeade Station, fat raindrops splattered against the windows. The students pulled on their cloaks and grabbed their trunks. Lexi, Harry, Ron and Hermione hurried to a carriage and climbed in.

"I still get creeped out by the thestrals," said Harry, wiping his glasses on his robes.

"Yeah, me too," Lexi replied.

The ride up to the castle was quiet. All that could be heard were the raindrops 'plunking' off the carriages as the thestrals pulled them along. Once inside, the four Gryffindors sat down at their table, waiting for the sorting hat ceremony to begin. This year went quickly, however, not quickly enough. Since Lexi had had the fight with her mother about Professor Snape, the day her father died replayed in her mind. When Lexi looked up at the staff table, Professor Snape was looking at her, as if he were contemplating something. The look sent a shiver up her spine and Lexi rushed out of the Great Hall, heading towards the staircase to Gryffindor Tower. Harry was right behind her.

"Lexi, are you alright?" Harry asked as he ran up a flight of stairs trying to catch up with her. Lexi turned to face him, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh Lexi, don't cry. Please, tell me what's wrong," Harry said trying to calm Lexi. Just as Harry pulled her into a tight embrace, Professor McGonagall appeared at the foot of the staircase.

"Mr. Potter, I advise you take Miss. Walker up to Gryffindor Tower." Professor McGonagall said. "The password is gilliweed," she added quietly as to make sure no one else heard.

"Alright Professor. Thanks." Harry said as he guided Lexi up the stairs and in no time the two stood in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Gilliweed," Harry said.

The portrait swung open and Harry and Lexi hurried inside. A fire was glowing kindly in the fireplace. Harry sat Lexi down next to it, and pulled a chair up across from her for himself.

"Lexi, please tell me what's wrong," Harry begged. 'He's a good boyfriend' Lexi thought.

"When I looked at Snape, I freaked," Lexi said wiping at her eyes.

"Why? I don't understand," Harry responded with a genuine look of pained interest.

"I suppose I better tell you everything from the beginning," Lexi said as she took a deep breath.

Lexi had been 2 when her father died. His death was so unexpected that the mere thought of it produced tears of fear in Lexi's eyes, even 14 years later. It had been a sunny afternoon in June. June 18th to be exact. Lexi's father, Christopher, had just finished giving Lexi her lunch. The pair went into the den to read their daily afternoon storybook. Lexi loved this time of day because she had her father all to herself. That day, Christopher was animatedly reading "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss. Even though a Muggle wrote it, Lexi loved it. The rhythm and the rhymes made her giggle uncontrollably whenever her father read it to her. Suddenly, a noise outside made Christopher put down the book in the middle of a sentence. At first he thought it was a bird. 'No, not a bird,' he told himself. Then it happened. A loud crash as the front door was sent off its hinges, the glass in the windowpanes shattering. In seconds a tall figure, wearing a pitch-black cloak appeared in the doorway. Behind him several others stood, all wearing pitch-black cloaks. The man in the doorway did not wear a mask as the others did. "Snape, what are you doing?" Christopher asked in shock. Lexi knew that name. Whenever she heard her parents talking, they almost always mentioned the name Snape. The man called Snape merely smirked and emitted an evil laugh.

"Don't move Walker. This won't take but a minute," he said to Lexi's father.

Christopher didn't have time to react. Before he could reach for his wand, Snape bellowed, "_Avada Kedavra!_"

Christopher let out a brief cry and then fell motionless to the floor. By this time Lexi was bawling uncontrollably. Shaking, she crawled over to her father's limp body and tried to bring him back to consciousness.

"Daddy, wake up. Daddy!" she screamed.

Snape moved away from the dead man and the child trying unsuccessfully to 'wake up' her father. "What are you doing Snape?" one of the other cloaked men asked.

"I do not kill children. They are not important to this fight, you know that Lucious. Think of your child," Snape answered.

At that, the group of hooded men left, leaving Lexi to mourn her father. After what seemed like days but had been only 30 minutes Karen Apparated into the den.

"Alexandra let Daddy be," Karen said quietly so she wouldn't wake up her husband.

"Daddy not sleeping, "Lexi said in a quivering voice, "Daddy no wake up!"

The tears started again and Karen realized that her husband was dead and she was left to care for a 2-year-old daughter. '_Chris, how could you do this to me?_' Karen thought to herself angrily.

"That's how it happened," Lexi finished.

Harry just sat across from her with a look of horror and pain.

"I haven't told that to anyone," Lexi confided.

"Oh Lexi," was all Harry could say.

He'd known Professor Snape was a death eater but he never knew he had actually killed for Voldemort. Lexi got up and hugged Harry.

"Thank you. I think I needed that," Lexi said in his ear.

"Lexi, I've got just one question. Why did Snape kill your dad," Harry said, grabbing her wrist.

"My dad didn't support You-Know-Who," Lexi said simply. "G'night Harry," Lexi said as she climbed the stairs to the girl's dormitory.

"Night Lexi, I love you," Harry responded.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4-Fear Personified**

That night, Lexi found sleep eluding her. She lay awake in her bed, curtains closed around her, thinking about Harry and what he now knew. She knew she could trust him with her secret. Slowly, the late hours pressed sleep upon her. Unfortunately sleep brought with it the horrid memories of her father trying to defend himself against Snape. She saw he mother's face when she discovered Christopher was dead. Karen hadn't believed Lexi when she told her what had happened. It took almost 6 years for her to come to grips with the truth.

Hermione woke to hear the sounds of screaming. She looked groggily at her bedside clock and saw it was 3:00 in the morning. As sleep left her brain she realized that the screaming was coming from the bed next to her, Lexi's bed. She rushed out of bed and down the stairs to the common room in search of Professor McGonagall. To Hermione's relief, Professor McGonagall was sitting by the fire. She was in a deep discussion with Professor Snape and Hermione knew better than to interrupt teachers when they were talking. Luckily, she didn't have to wait long.

"Yes, Miss Granger," Professor McGonagall asked as she turned to face Hermione.

"Professor, Lexi's screaming and I came to get you. I don't know what's wrong with her," Hermione said in one breath.

Both Professors McGonagall and Snape hurried up the stairs to the girl's dormitory after Hermione. Once inside the room, Professor McGonagall dashed over to Lexi's bed.

"No, Daddy, no! Leave him alone!" Lexi was screaming in her sleep.

"Miss Walker, wake up dear. It's only a dream," Professor McGonagall said shaking Lexi gently.

Lexi woke with a start and looked around. She was drenched in a cold sweat and was breathing hard. As Professor McGonagall was calming her down and asking her what had happened, Snape silently walked over and stood beside Hermione. At that moment Lexi looked up and saw Snape standing just feet from her. She grabbed her wand off her bedside table and pointed it shakily at him.

"G-g-get away from me!" she shouted. "I hate you," she continued as tears started to run down her already wet cheeks.

"Put that wand down Miss Walker," Professor Snape said quietly.

"You'd be a fool to attempt anything." Lexi lowered her wand but did not return it to its place on her bedside table.

"Get out you…you…you murderer!" Lexi shouted. She didn't care if people heard her. Snape looked hurt.

"What would make you say such a thing?" he asked her.

Professor McGonagall looked at Snape and said, "Severus wait for me in the common room please." Professor Snape left the dormitory with a nod.

"Now Miss Walker, I don't know why you believe Professor Snape to be a…murderer but it is none of my business," Professor McGonagall said.

"Ask Professor Snape," Lexi said shakily as she set down her wand and ran her hands through her blond hair.

"Alright," Professor McGonagall said and she left the room.

"Lexi, why'd you call Snape a murderer?" Hermione asked confused. "I don't want to talk about it," Lexi responded.

"Ok," Hermione answered and both girls got back into bed.

In the Gryffindor Common Room, Professors McGonagall and Snape sat by the now dwindling fire.

"Severus, why did she call you a murderer?" McGonagall asked curtly.

"Because in her opinion I am," Snape answered simply.

"That doesn't answer my question, Severus, "Professor McGonagall said.

"Minerva, I killed her father," Snape said. "Is that a good enough answer for you?" he added hotly.

"I had no idea Severus. I'm so sorry," Professor McGonagall said quietly.

"Don't be. If anyone's sorry, it should be me," Snape muttered more to himself than to Professor McGonagall.

"I wasn't thinking. I never would have done it had she been my child," Snape said, still talking to himself.

"No, never in front of Tiana," he finished.

"It's late Severus. Go to bed," Professor McGonagall instructed.

"You're right Minerva. See you at breakfast then," Snape said and he left the Gryffindor Common Room. Professor McGonagall headed to her room, all the while pondering what Snape had told her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5-Christmas Confrontation**

As the weeks past, Lexi began to settle into life at Hogwarts. She managed to avoid Snape most of the time. During potions, she and Harry sat in the back, quietly doing their work. This year, Lexi found herself doing all of her homework, including potions. Finally December rolled around and the Christmas holidays were upon them.

"Harry, are you staying for the holiday?" Lexi asked at the breakfast the day before the holiday began.  
"Yeah. I haven't spent Christmas with the Durseley's since before my first year at Hogwarts," Harry answered her after swallowing his bite of biscuit.

"Oh," Lexi said sadly. "My mum is making me come home. She thinks that Christmas time is family time, meaning we spend the holiday with Michael's side of the family."

As Lexi and her friends finished breakfast, Melissa Evil, Lexi's only friend in Slytherin, cam over. Unfortunately, Melissa was not friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Hi Meli," Lexi said nervously, not wanting her other friends to feel awkward.

"Lexi can I talk to you for a minute?" Melissa asked quickly, avoiding the glares of the three Gryffindors.

"Yeah, ok," Lexi said getting up and following Melissa out of the Great Hall.

"What's up?" Lexi asked as Meli stopped.

Once they were out of earshot, "I hardly see you anymore. How come you don't have detention with Snape anymore?" Meli asked suspiciously.

"I…I…I decided to do my work this year," Lexi answered quickly, trying to move off the subject. "Why do you care?" Lexi added.

"Haven't you get Draco to keep you company?"

"Well yeah but he's not the same as my best friend," Meli answered.

"Speaking of Draco, I get to spend Christmas with him and his family," Meli added, her mood lightening.

"Aren't you lucky,' Lexi said with a hint of jealousy in her voice. At that moment, people began filtering out of the Great Hall, heading to their first classes.

"Look, I'll see you in potions Meli," Lexi said when she saw Harry, Ron and Hermione walking towards them. 

"Alright, bye," Meli answered, walking over to Draco and taking his hand.

"What was that all about?" Hermione asked annoyed.

"Oh nothing. She just wanted to talk," Lexi said nonchalantly.

The four Gryffindors walked quickly to the dungeons for their last potions class of the term. Lexi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 'I can make it through one class with him,' Lexi told herself.

As she walked into the classroom, Professor Dumbledore was bent over Snape's desk, whispering something.

"Good luck Severus," he said.

"Thank you Albus," Snape answered curtly.

When Dumbledore walked by their table, he gave Harry and Lexi a kind smile. Professor Snape cleared his throat to get the class's attention. He tapped the black board with his wand, producing the day's lesson and indicating that the class could begin working.

"Miss Walker come here please," Snape said in his usual sneer. Harry and Lexi exchanged nervous looks. Lexi got up slowly and walked to the front of the room.

"Follow me," he said getting up and walking towards the door of his office. As Lexi entered, Snape gestured for her to close the door. Once the door was shut he told her to sit down. Lexi sat on the edge of the chair; hand in her pocket gripping her wand.

"I'm not going to hurt you Miss Walker," Professor Snape said as if reading Lexi's mind. 'He probably is reading my mind' Lexi thought to herself hastily.

"Then what do you want?" Lexi asked defensively.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to talk to you about…about our run-in the first night of term," he answered.

"How did he find out?" Lexi asked, at once knowing the answer. "Never mind," she added quickly. For a moment, the two just sat and stared at each other.

"Why did he wait so long?" Lexi asked quietly.

"He was concerned with your emotional state," Snape answered with an aire of annoyed amusement.

Lexi was beginning to feel uncomfortable and she got up to leave.

"Sit," Snape commanded. "I didn't say you could leave."

"Just leave me alone," Lexi retorted. She turned on her heel and left the room. When she returned, Harry looked up.

"What happened?" he asked, seeing Lexi's flushed complexion.

"Dumbledore told him to talk to me," she said through gritted teeth. "Well we talked," she added.

"Dumbledore said that?" Harry asked, looking at her in awe. Snape reappeared and ignored Lexi for the rest of class.

After dinner that night, Professor Dumbledore took Professor Snape aside. "Well Severus, how did it go?" he asked.

"That girl is impossible!" Snape answered loudly.

"Shhh, Severus not so loud," Dumbledore instructed.

"I believe you should try to talk to her again but in a more familiar setting. Severus, if you would please try again during the holidays," Dumbledore added.

"I will try," was all Snape said. The next morning, Harry, Ron and Hermione saw Lexi off to Hogsmeade Station. The Christmas holidays had begun.

As Lexi walked into her house later that afternoon, Zachary, her 6 month old black panther, came over to her and nuzzled her leg.

"Hey baby," Lexi said quietly. "It's a shame you can't come with me to school. You'd scare the pants off of Snape."

Just then, Michael, Lexi's stepfather, walked in with a displeased look on his face.

"Do you have any idea how difficult that animal is to control?" he asked Lexi with a grumble. "Stupid thing never listens."

"Don't call him stupid!" Lexi said loudly. "He just doesn't like you. Isn't that right," Lexi said petting Zachary on the head.

"Fine, but keep it out of my way," Michael said walking past her hurriedly.

Lexi glared after him. 'I don't know why he doesn't like Zachary,' she thought to herself as she walked down the hall to her room. Once inside, Lexi flopped down on her bed and closed her eyes. 'This is going to be the worst Christmas ever,' she thought. Slowly she drifted into a deep sleep.

With a loud crack, Tiana Snape Apparated into the living room. "Tiana, how many times have I told you, no underage apparating," her father bellowed from the den.

"Sorry!" Tiana yelled back, only half apologizing. She didn't care. What's the worst he could do, ground her. That wasn't very likely. As Tiana turned to head to her room, her father, Severus Snape appeared.

"Don't do that!" Tiana said gasping for breath.

"Where have you been?" Snape asked his daughter.

"Out," she replied.

"Out where?" was her father's next question.

"None of your business," Tiana replied, annoyed that her father was obstructing her path.

"I'm your father, of course it's my business," he said, holding his ground.

"Ugh. I was over at Draco's. He, Meli and I were hanging out," she said. "Can I go now?" she asked, giving him her 'we didn't do anything illegal' face.

"Fine," Snape said, moving aside.

Severus Snape walked back his desk in the den and sat down. He ran a hand through his greasy black hair. 'Albus why did I agree to do this?' he thought to himself. He was writing a letter to Lexi's mother and stepfather explaining his upcoming visit to Lexi. He reread what he had written:

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Lascher, I am writing to inform you that upon request of Albus Dumbledore, I am to visit your daughter, Alexandra Walker, to discuss our run-in on the first night of the school term. It is most likely that she has not shared this incident with you. She awoke in the early morning screaming and upon my presence being acknowledged threatened me. I will arrive on December 22, at 9:00 in the morning. Thank you for your time. Severus Snape._

Satisfied, he folded up the letter, put it in an envelope and addressed it. "I'll mail this tomorrow," he said to himself. He looked up and saw that it was late, 11:30. He headed down the hall to him room. On the way, he passed Tiana's room. He glanced in and saw she was asleep. Knowing that his daughter was safe; he entered the master bedroom and went to bed.

The next morning Severus was up early. He went outside to the owl nest and called their post owl down. He tied the letter to its leg and the owl flew off.

"Dad, can I ask you something?" Tiana asked at breakfast.

"Yes, what is it," he answered from behind the morning's issue of _The Daily Prophet_.

"Is the rumor true that Lexi Walker threatened you?" Tiana asked before taking a bite of cereal. Slowly Snape put down his paper. His already pale skin, looked almost translucent.

"Why do ask that?" he queried nervously.

"Well, you're my dad and if she did threaten you then…" Tiana began.

"Yes Tiana she did," he said. "However, you are to leave her alone. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah, but why did she threaten you?" Tiana asked persistently.

"It's none of your business," Snape responded. "This conversation is done."

"How come that line works when you say it," Tiana muttered more to herself than her father.

In the Lascher household, Karen was skimming through the mail when she came upon a letter addressed to her and Michael. She didn't recognize the return address for there was no name. She opened the letter and read it. She hurried into the living room where Michael sat reading The Daily Prophet.

"Michael, read this," Karen said in a hushed voice. He took the letter from her and read it quickly.

"Should we tell her?" he asked.

"No. From the letter, it sounds as if she doesn't know," Karen answered.

"Alright," Michael responded. Neither of them mentioned Snape's forthcoming visit to Lexi.

The following morning, Snape left a note on the kitchen table for Tiana that read: I will be out for most of the day. Stay out of trouble. At preciously 8:59 AM, Snape Apparated to the front door of Lexi's house. He rang the doorbell and waited. After several seconds, a tall woman with graying blond hair and blue eyes appeared.

"Oh," she said, a little startled. "Come in," she added not wanting to seem foolish. Snape walked in cautiously.

"Well, that's a lot easier than sending it off it's hinges," Snape said, attempting to sound funny.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Karen said. She led him to the living room and told him to sit.

"Can I get you anything?" Karen asked.

"No thank you," Snape answered. Just then, Michael walked in.

"Oh, we have company," he said as startled as his wife had been.

"Yes dear, we do," Karen said to her husband.

"Alexandra, we have company," her mother called. "Come out here please." Lexi appeared in her doorway wearing navy blue sweatpants and a baggy Good Charlotte shirt.

"What?" Lexi asked over the blaring music that was emanating from her room.

"I said we have company and that you need to come out here now," Karen repeated over the music.

"And turn that racket off," Michael bellowed.

Within minutes the music was off and Lexi appeared in the living room followed closely by Zachary. Lexi froze. 'This isn't happening. I'm just dreaming.' Lexi thought to herself. While Lexi was still in shock, Zachary took the opportunity to inspect the intruder. Upon smelling Lexi's fear, Zachary lunged at Snape, teeth bared and claws extended. Snape jumped up and pulled out his wand.

"_Stupi_…" Snape began.

"Don't you dare!" Lexi screamed pulling out her own wand and pointing it at him.

"Alexandra either control that thing or get rid of it!" Michael shouted. Lexi grabbed Zachary by the scruff of his neck and pulled him back.

"Down boy," she whispered in his ear. "Go on and lay down," she instructed the panther. 

Obediently he went over to the fireplace and laid down all the while keeping his sharp green eyes on Snape.

"What are you doing here?" Lexi asked beginning to shake.

"Dumbledore asked me to try again. I figured with your parents here I would have a better chance of talking," Snape said coolly. Lexi glared at the two other adults in the room.

"Fine, I'll talk but not with them here," Lexi said.

Karen and Michael got up and went into their bedroom and closed the door. Lexi sat down on the couch and covered her face with her hands.

"Is it your life's mission to make me miserable every waking moment?" she asked from behind her hands.

"No," he said quietly.

"Well it sure feels like it is," she mumbled. "What's there to talk about anyways?" she added.

"Nothing really," Snape answered her.

"Do you want to know something?" Lexi said staring straight into his light grey eyes.

"I hate you for what you did and that will never change. No matter what you say or do."

"I know that. I regret what I did," he said in just as quiet a tone as she had.

"But there is one thing you have to understand," he continued.

"What's that?" Lexi asked defiantly.

"It was either kill for the Dark Lord or be killed by him," Snape finished.

"So you chose the option that would save your own neck," Lexi replied with a disgusted look. 

"Yes, yes I did," he answered.

"Just do me a favor and get out of my house!" Lexi said loudly. Snape merely sat there looking at Lexi.

"Do you want me to let my panther loose on you? Because I will," Lexi threatened. At the mention of Zachary, Snape rose quickly and put his wand in his pocket.

"Have a nice Christmas, Miss Walker," he said and then he was gone.

'How could they let him in? He could have killed me!' Lexi thought to herself. With tears streaming down her face, she ran to her room followed by Zachary. Once they were both inside she shut the door and slammed onto her bed. Zachary jumped onto the bed with her and cuddled up next to her. Lexi was grateful for the warmth of his body. Christmas was two days away and she was not looking forward to returning to Hogwarts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6-Back to Fear's Dwelling Place**

After the Christmas holidays, Lexi returned to Hogwarts with little happiness in her heart. Her only happy thought was seeing Harry after the break. As she walked up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower, she ran into Christina Ortiz, a fellow sixth year Gryffindor. Rumor had it she and George Weasley were a couple.

"Hi Christina," Lexi said as she passed her.

"Oh, hi Lexi," Christina responded. "How was your holiday?" she asked Lexi as she enchanted her trunk to fly along side her up the stairs.

"Bad," Lexi replied as she followed suit and enchanted her own trunk.

"That's too bad. I spent Christmas with Geo…" Christina began.

"George Weasley," Lexi finished for her.

"Yeah," Christina replied, blushing slightly.

The two girls continued their assent in silence. Once all of Lexi's things were put away, she headed to the common room in search of Harry. To her disappointment he wasn't there.

"Lexi," a voice called from by the fireplace.

"Hermione!" Lexi said, walking over to her friend.

"Harry and Ron are at quidditch practice," Hermione told Lexi, seeing her disappointed look.

"Thanks," Lexi replied.

"How was your Christmas?" Hermione continued.

"Can I tell you later?" Lexi asked, unsure if she really wanted to recount her vacation.

"Sure," Hermione said. At dinner that night, Lexi told Harry, Ron and Hermione about Snape's surprise visit and what he had said.

"He just doesn't give up does he," Hermione whispered.

"Can we not talk about it anymore?" Lexi asked, a sudden look of exhaustion waving over her face.

"Sure, ok" her friends said in unison.

After dinner, Lexi, Harry, Ron and Hermione were heading up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower to start their homework when Tiana came up to them.

"You better keep that thing away from my dad or I'll…" she began, obviously talking to Lexi.

"Or you'll what?" came a deep voice from the shadows.

At this, Tiana and the four Gryffindors turned to see who had been speaking. Professor Snape emerged from the shadows with a frown on his face.

"Tiana, remember what I told you," he said.

"But dad…that thing attacked you!" Tiana whined.

"He's a panther!" Lexi shouted. "And his name is Zachary."

The two girls glared menacingly at one another.

"Come on Lexi, let's go," Harry said taking hold of Lexi's wrist and pulling her along. Snape did the same to Tiana.

"Tiana…when I tell you something I expect you to listen," Snape began.

"That thing could have killed you!" Tiana answered, her whine becoming more like a sob.

"But he didn't," her father told her. "Now stop crying. You are to leave Lexi Walker alone," Snape continued.

"If I find out you have been causing trouble for her I would have no problem taking points from Slytherin," Snape finished.

Tiana wiped her eyes and hugged her dad.

"I just don't want to lose you," she said, her voice muffled by Snape's robes.

"Go on now, get to your homework," Snape said patting his daughter on the back.

"Albus, do you have any idea how ludicrous sending me to her house was?" Snape asked Dumbledore a few days later.

"Severus, it was no mistake," Dumbledore responded calmly.

"And did you know she has a pet panther?" Professor Snape asked, his pale skin taking on a reddish tint.

"Oh yes. Zachary I believe is his name," Dumbledore said.

"Yes, well that panther attempted to eat me," Snape said in disgust.

"You look no worse for wear Severus," Albus said jokingly.

"I've tried twice and it is of no use Albus," Snape continued.

"I will not try again. She has to want to listen. I can't make her," he finished.

"Well of course you could make her listen but then you'd be breaking the law," Dumbledore replied, still with a playful smile on his face.

"Albus this is serious!" Snape said loudly.

"Severus, I am placing this in your hands," Albus said getting up from his desk and walking over to Fawkes, his pet phoenix.

"Fine," Snape said and he left.

Over the next few months, Snape tried to be nice to Lexi and gain even an ounce of her trust.

"I don't know what he is doing but it's creeping me out," Lexi whispered to Hermione during a herbology lesson in early May.

"I think he wants you to like him," Hermione whispered back.

"He knows I hate him. So why would he even bother," Lexi said back.

Hermione just shrugged. At night, Lexi began to think bout her life and how it would have been different if Snape had chosen not to kill her father. She wouldn't have this deep-rooted fear of him and life wouldn't have turned out so bad. Then again, she might not have dated Harry. Part of what made them a great couple was their shared experiences.

These nightly contemplations kept Lexi up into the early hours of the morning. One night, when her mind was particularly cluttered, she got out of bed and snuck off to the library. She entered the restricted section and began browsing the hundreds of shelves. Suddenly, in the dim light of her lantern she saw a book that caught her interest. The book was titled Answers: Everything you want to know. She slid it off of the shelf and began searching through the index.

"Fear…fear…fear…" Lexi muttered to herself running her finger down each row.

"Ah hah page 104," she said as she found the page she was looking for.

She sat down at one of the tables and opened the book to page 104. The article was very short. It had a question and then the answer below. It read: _Question- how do I rid myself of deep-rooted fears? Answer- in order to get rid of the fear you must confront it head on and then conquer it by forcing it to go away forever._ Lexi shuddered slightly as she read the answer. Just then she heard a noise from outside the library. 'Flitch!' Lexi thought. She hurriedly put away the book, grabbed her lantern and left the library. Within minutes she was back in Gryffindor Tower. She sprinted up the steps to the girl's dormitory and climbed into bed. Suddenly, her mind was very clear and she knew what she had to do. She just wasn't sure she could do it. She forced herself to sleep. She would need it.

As May came to a close, Lexi planned what she had to do. She still wasn't sure if she could go through with it but she knew in her heart that if she didn't, she would regret it for the rest of her life. She didn't share her plans with anyone, not even Harry. She knew he would try to stop her and she couldn't deal with that. Lexi looked upon June with a glint of fear and anticipation in her eye.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7-Heart's Secret Laid to Rest**

Finally the day came for Lexi to execute her plan, June 18th. It was the final quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Lexi sat in the crowd cheering for Harry, Ron and the rest of the Gryffindor team. Harry was having trouble catching the snitch today, which Lexi was grateful for. She knew he would catch it. He was much better than Malfoy and everyone knew it, including Malfoy. It was just a matter of time. Lexi only hoped Harry could hold out long enough for her plan to work. She waited until Gryffindor scored another goal before she left.

She slipped out of the stands and headed back to the castle. When the front doors were in sight she heard footsteps behind her. She looked back and sure enough, Professor Snape was closing in behind her. Lexi ran a little faster and slammed the front doors shut behind her. She sprinted down the hall and into the nearest classroom. Snape was close behind her. 'Good. It's working,' Lexi thought to herself. Just then, Professor Snape ran in.

"Miss Walker, where are you going in such a hurry?" he asked, trying to catch his breath.

"Why does it matter to you?" Lexi asked, buying herself some time.

"Usually, when a student runs out unexpectedly, there is a reason," Snape said, breathing easier now. Lexi walked over and shut the door.

"Miss Walker what in the bloody hell do you think you are doing?" Snape asked, disguising his panic with annoyance.

Lexi turned around, her wand pointed at Snape's heart.

"I'm going to make this fair Professor," Lexi said. "I'll let you draw your wand before I do anything."

"Are you crazy!" Snape shouted.

"You will be expelled for this and thrown into Azkaban," he bellowed.

"No I won't," Lexi said maliciously. "No one will know what happened."

Snape drew his wand and prepared for the worst, which he knew was coming. Noise could be heard outside. From the shouts, Gryffindor had won 350 points to 60. 'Good, Harry won,' Lexi thought. She snapped out of her thoughts and prepared to conquer her fear. Footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway.

"_Avada Kedavra!_" she shouted angrily.

Snape lunged out of the way of the spell just in time. The spell ricocheted off the black board and hit Lexi squarely in the chest. Some of the force of the spell having been lost when it ricocheted off the board, Lexi stumbled backward slightly. She let out a scream and fell face-first onto the ground. Her body hit the floor with a 'thud'. Professor Snape stood up and looked at the girl lying at his feet. He moved back so that he wasn't physically touching her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Epilogue**

The funeral was held three days after it happened. The service was small but those closest to Lexi were present. After the funeral, Lexi's body was laid to rest in the cemetery just outside of Hogsmeade. Her gravestone read: **Alexandra McKenzy Walker September 23, 1980-June 18, 1996. May God's child rest in peace.**

It was a cool, breezy July afternoon as Harry knelt down and placed fresh flowers on Lexi's grave. He sat down on the newly planted grass and cried. 'It wasn't supposed to happen like this,' he thought to himself as the tears streamed down his face. Harry could still remember the scene he and Professor McGonagall had walked in on. Lexi lay motionless on the floor, wand gripped loosely in her hand and Professor Snape just staring at her. His face was stricken with grief. McGonagall took Lexi's wand out of her cold hand and tested it for it's most recent spell. It had been the Avada Kadavra curse. Lexi had committed suicide. As Snape later explained, she had been trying to use the spell on him. For some strange reason, Harry believed Snape.

Footsteps brought Harry out of his revere. He looked up and saw Professor Snape walking towards him, something in his hand. Harry got up and moved aside so Snape could reach the grave. Snape knelt down and placed flowers beside Harry's. Then he produced a slender object wrapped in silk and laid it in front of the flowers.

"It's all my fault," Snape murmured.

"No it's not Professor," Harry said quietly, not wanting to startle the man.

"Potter, if it hadn't been for me, her father would still be alive and if it hadn't been for me, she would still be alive," Severus said tears running down his face, wiping at them so Harry wouldn't see.

"Please don't blame yourself. It was an accident," Harry said.

"I had to choose the option that would save my own neck," Snape spat in anger.

Harry didn't know what to do.

"Well, I will see you in September Professor," Harry said turning to leave.

"Potter…" Snape whispered sadly.

"Yes Professor?" Harry turned back around.

"Will you make sure that no one takes this," he said pointing to the silk-wrapped object.

"Sure," Harry replied as Severus got up and left.

Harry leaned over and looked at the object Snape had left. At first he thought there was a design in the silk. Then he realized it was writing. It said:_ to slay something so pure is to live but a half-life. To witness it is to be cursed forever._ Snape had written this in what looked to be red ink but after a moment's scrutiny Harry realized it was blood! He had to honor Snape's request and so he put a sticking spell so forceful that even the strongest wizard could not undo it. Harry walked away from the grave, feeling a pain in his stomach and a heaviness in his heart.


End file.
